Crop Circle (noun) Definition: any area of grain or crop that has been flattened or cut into a circular geometric pattern, sometimes thought to be made by flying saucers
Dictionary.com's 21st Century Lexicon
Copyright © 2003-2009 Dictionary.com, LLC

As far back as the 17th Century, humans have been intrigued by the formation of circular patterns spanning 40 to 50 feet on plantation of crops such as wheat or barley. During the 1960’s scientists have been baffled by numerous occurrence of this phenomenon. Several crop circles have already been proven to be hoaxes pulled by college students, but some of them still remain to be a mystery.

Well, it is definitely not a mystery, not to us at least. To put it simply, crop circles are the marks left behind by “disposable” track ovals used by outworlders such as ourselves.

The extra-terrestrial community on Earth had its own share of the “running boom” back in the 1960’s. Alien life-forms of any race or chemical make-up seemed to pick up running as their terrestrial-inspired form of diversion or competition. WE were there to witness it, although WE did not participate because WE found the Space Race between the Americans and the Soviets more delightful.

Several ingenious extra-terrestrial merchants of that time developed a small contraption that when activated becomes an Olympic sized track oval. WE are not familiar with the technology used for the device but let us just think of it as Cup Noodles, just add hot water and you’ve got yourself a meal…or for this matter, a track oval. After having ones fill of speed training for the night, the track oval is then deactivated causing it to be vaporized. This is why WE coined them disposable. No traces of the track oval is left after the vaporization except for miniscule magnetized iron spheres and the notorious crop circles.

Obviously, the reason for setting up the track oval at night was to hide it from human eyes. Cloaking devices are very expensive by nomadic extra-terrestrial standards after all.

The circular pattern left behind after the vaporization of the track oval, which became known as crop circles, are merely the unique stamps of merchants who manufactured it . Call it a company logo, or a calling card , or even an advertising tool. Outworlders, after seeing a crop circle, can then establish a telepathic link by focusing on the patterns, connecting them directly to the manufacturers of that particular track oval. Plain and simple business.

Now, where can we set-up our track oval for the night? The sugar cane fields of Negros does not sound bad.

Run Strong and Prosper!

To put it succinctly WE are getting ready and are on the final stages of our preparation for the marathon this Sunday.

Similar to most Filipinos running a marathon in Manila, WE wish that there will be adequate amounts of water and that there will be enough clouds on the atmosphere to block significant amounts of radiation from the sun. Call us pessimists, but WE doubt our wishes will come into being.

WE have observed Filipino runners make provision for sports drinks, gels, skin lubricants and running apparel in a compulsive manner when preparing for an important race. A totally logical form of approach considering the usual scarcity of water and other forms of re-hydrating fluids in Philippine running events, not to mention the tropical climate. WE would like to adhere to this norm considering that the human body WE will assume for the race still has terrestrial requirements.

WE have prepared a list of the implements and substances needed for July 5.

• Race Number w/ pre-attached pins
• Milo Singlet
• Compression Leggings
• Sports Socks
• Asics Gel Oberon (Color Green)
• Fuel Belt, 4 Flasks – filled with zodan, a liquid-like concoction of hyper-active particles with high osmolality meant to invigorate a carbon-based life form.
• StarGlasses - purchased from a merchant residing at Sector 4 of the Crab Nebula. Looks like regular polarized sunglasses but is a mini-computer with GPS read-out, x-ray vision, life-signs scanning and several other functions that its artificial intelligence is capable of.
• Anti-Gluon Gun – to unravel the atoms of any being that might display hostility towards us. Small enough to fit in the Fuel Belt pouch.

If there would be any suggestions as for other things to bring on a race, it would be most welcomed.

In addition to tapering WE are also consuming large amounts of of Milo to store enough “Olympic energy”… once again, pardon our attempt for human humor.

Run Strong and Prosper!